Red Mama Freckles

2011-07-24T18:21:00.003-04:00

After a small hiatus (about 18 months), I'm blogging again. I was reading through some of my older posts yesterday and the memories made me smile, so I thought I'd add some more.

In the past 18 months, we've survived 3 deployments, 1 job change, and 1 tornado; those were the big things. The smaller, everyday, seemingly insignificant things that almost drove me insane include Bieber Fever, WWE, and All Things Johnny Depp (thank you, Madi.)

This weekend Daniel had a friend over, and they were hanging out in his room. Two 11 year old boys, playing Xbox, and all they wanted was to be left alone. Apparently his friend forgot the fact that Daniel has 2 little sisters that do not understand the term "Leave me alone." I'm certain they do not understand it because no matter how loudly he tells them "leave me alone," they do not leave him alone.

So, Daniel and his friend wanted the little girls to stop coming in Daniel's room. His friend says to the girls, "If you don't stop coming in here, I'm gonna...OH MAN, there's no lock on this door!!! Arrggghh! If you don't stop coming in here, I'm gonna make you smell my armpits!"

Resourceful. There's a word to describe tweenage boys. And it worked.

Fast forward a few hours, and we decided to go to WalMart and the Commiscary. And yes, I realize it is properly spelled Commissary, but seriously, if you've ever been to the Commissary I go to, you would realize it should be called the Commiscary.

We were sitting in the turning lane to WalMart, and everyone except Ashlyn realized we were in the turning lane to WalMart. When Madi tells her just to listen for the turn signal in order to know whether we are turning or not, Ashlyn confesses that up until recently she thought that sound was my fingers tapping on the steering wheel as we waited to turn.

I know I should drive for Nascar, but really, am I that bad???

When we got to WalMart, I donned a Captain America mask and shield (minus the 6 pack abs, they will be along shortly, I'm sure), Daniel became Thor, complete with mask and weapon, and Madi stood in as SpiderMan. We saved the world on the toy aisle of WalMart while the little girls looked at Barbies.

You are welcome.

As we returned home, I started looking at the porch decor in my neighborhood. I noticed recently that someone has elephants out on their steps... I've seen lions and gnomes... so I was just observing, when I saw a pair of wings on a small statue on the front steps of a house. I came to a dead stop and told Madi to look at the gargoyle.

Only it was an angel.

My bad.

But after those elephants, you just never know what you may see...

Happy Happy Birthday From All of us to You, We Wish it was Our Birthday, so We could Party too!

2009-01-23T22:08:00.004-05:00

Tonight as I write this, there are 5 twelve year old girls upstairs celebrating the birthday of my first born.

I'm sure you can imagine the sounds: laughter, squeals, whispers, and an occasional thud thud thud as they run down the stairs to get more soda and chocolate.

As I think back over the last 12 years, I am astounded. This little bundle who forced me to grow up so much has flourished into a beautiful young lady. She shines from the inside out. She loves life, and all the twists and turns it takes. She adapts like no one I have ever seen before. She has become accustomed to having two phases of friendship: the active, present phase, which occurs when we live somewhere, and the keeping up with friends far away phase, which occurs when we or they move away, which invariably always happens, living the military lifestyle. She cries, like every girl is entitled to do, but picks herself up and keeps going.

Madi is our little smarty pants. She is a grade ahead in school (apparently the entire 7th grade had a party today to celebrate the fact that there is no one who is 11 years old anymore in their grade level) and is at the top of her class. She strives to do her best work, and will go out of her way to make sure she has good grades. She is very hard on herself and as long as we can keep that in check, I believe this trait will serve her well in life.

Madi is a lover of learning. She still realizes she doesn't know all there is to know, and is ready to listen to advice from her parents, whether the topic is friends, boys, health, school, or work. She has learned a valuable lesson that I did not learn until I was in my 20's, and we have strived to help her learn humility. I believe a great deal has gotten through, and for that I am truly thankful.

Madi is a true friend. She is loyal to the end, and is an excellent judge of character. I do not hear horror stories as some do about their daughter's friends trashing their reputation, or getting into petty fights. I think the life experience the Army has brought to Madi is that life is too short to spend it bickering and being petty, and that we are all basically the same, and just want love and acceptance from others. And that is what Madi brings to her relationships. The freedom to be yourself without fear of judgment or condemnation.

Madi has also begun working daily as a pet sitter. We live in an ideal community for her to be able to do this after school, and she gets paid! It gives her life lessons a-plenty: responsibility (being available daily), money management, and very introductory business skills as she deals with the pet owners.

I worried so many of Madi's early years if we would be able to give this precious girl all she deserved in life, all we wanted to give her. Namely, a relationship with Jesus, loving married parents, a great education (both scholarly and worldly), a safe, loving, beautiful home...I was afraid we would not see some of these things until she was in high school or beyond, and yet here we are. Wise beyond her years, sweet as sugar, with a laugh that is infectious.

Happy 12th Birthday, Little One. I love you and am thankful you are in my life to love as much as I do, to the moon, stars, and back again.

The Story of Hermit Crab

2009-01-22T20:45:00.004-05:00

I am a hermit by nature. I prefer to call myself a homebody, but after talking to many others, I think someone who only goes out of the house other than for work, food, and religious activities could possibly be classified as a hermit. Or when someone refers to going to the store (any store) as "going in to town" like Laura Ingalls did in Little House on the Prairie. That would be me.

So here is the scenario: Saturday, outing to the commissary (military grocery store) with ALL kids in tow, at 3 pm (peak time). After growing weary (such polite wording) of their disobedience, I threaten to swat my kids in the store so someone will call social services on me. Then we'll see who you end up living with! That bought me time to get through the last couple of aisles as the kids were thinking about their future (more like "How long til we can wear her down again?"). Pay for food. Do not pass GO, go straight home.

Sunday: Church, home. The end.

Monday: No school as it is MLK holiday. I planned ahead of time to take the kids to the movies, specifically High School Musical 3. Why not double up on sacrificing for my kids if I can? Leaving the house to do something fun (for them): check. HSM 3, yeah, I am pretty sure that equals sacrifice and I have a big parenting reward waiting in heaven for putting my kids' wants above my own.

Not only are we going to the movies, we are going to the mall. Did I mention there are 4 kids and 1 of me?

We do all it takes to get 5 people out of the house on time, drive 30 minutes to the mall, get out, and Sarah puked all over the ground. Thank heaven for small miracles as there is no puke in the truck. Go into JCPenney, get barf bag, return to truck, drive 30 minutes back home.

Tuesday: 6" of snow. No school, thus no work. Homebound, yea!!!

Wednesday: No school again! Take kids to Walmart for, you guessed it, a few groceries. Did not even look at other stuff. Home again, home again, jiggity jig.

Thursday: No school. So today, I made the ultimate sacrifice that was supposed to take place Monday, but got pushed off because of the puke. We went to see HSM 3, then to a dr's appt. We walked through the front door of our house 4 hours after we walked out of it. Not bad for doctor and a movie. Which is a good thing, because Ashlyn said her tummy hurt. Then at bedtime came the puke.

Nobody pukes when all we do is the mundane. But throw something WILD in there like shopping, movies, bowling, and somebody is bound to puke.

Depending on how tonight goes, Ashlyn and I may be hunkered down at home again tomorrow!

Christmas Blurp

2009-01-20T22:45:00.003-05:00

I was just reading through some of my older posts and came across one where Sarah got money for her birthday and wanted to buy chocolate with her $20.

Well, she received money for Christmas, too. Forty dollars, to be exact.

As the children were each talking about what their plans were for their money, Sarah's was SO Sarah...

Forty dollars worth of Dr. Pepper and gum.

Nothing says love to a five year old like sugar and caffeine.

It's Like Self Torture on a Nightly Basis

2009-01-20T22:10:00.002-05:00

It has been over 3 months since my last post, but I finally have time due to a freak snow storm! School (well, work for me!) has been cancelled for two days, as well as the MLK holiday off, end of grading period...It has been great to be home and catch up on things!

So D is on a trip for a few more weeks, and I am watching shows I would otherwise not be watching. This evening I came across women having unassisted births. I knew women do home births with midwives and doulas, but this is with NO assistance from any medical staff.

I am just in shock. I am a worry wart and would give myself a coronary just thinking about all the things that could go wrong. I mean, I almost had one just watching them do it!

Not to mention my pain tolerance is about as low as the economy right now.

I also discovered a show called "Hopkins" on WE TV. The title caught my eye since that is where my Daniel went in the summer of 2007 when he almost died from his bike accident. I am hooked.

Which is weird since...

I hate blood.

I have disdain for hospitals in general (except when they are saving our lives!).

What is my obsession with these shows where women are birthing their babies alone (not the cleanest scenario) and hospitals where people's brains/hearts/lungs are on parade?

Why can't I just watch the HSN or sports like normal people? Or HGTV, like I used to, for crying out loud?

I wish I had a web cam. I would love to see my facial expressions as I am watching...er, grimacing at, these shows I TURNED TO!

2008-10-14T20:43:00.005-04:00

Crazy Fall...or is that Crazy FOR Fall?

2008-10-06T19:15:00.004-04:00

I cannot believe it has really been two months since I have posted! I am such a slacker when it comes to these things, especially when new adjustments come.

Like working full time.

And becoming a "football mom". To Daniel, of course.

We are home less and less these days, but I know the end, it is a comin'. Daniel's last game is Nov. 1, and I am both excited at the thought of being home those 4 days a week and also saddened by the end of a new era in our lives. Until next fall, anyway.

Work is fine. It keeps me busy, and provides us with extra income, which is always helpful! As far as fulfilling, I would give it a 5 on a 10 scale. Not my ideal, but I know God is using me and my attitude of friendliness as I allow Him to. And I have no idea what would score a 10 on my scale.

We are going to the mountains this weekend. I am SO EXCITED!!! The leaves are in full color, the temps are perfection, and we will see family for a brief time. Heaven. We are taking our kids to a famous mountain and to see some amazing caverns, which they have never seen before and do not even really know what to expect. It is like opening a gift and watching the reaction; priceless.

Maybe I will be able to post before two more months!

Lessons

2008-08-24T16:55:00.003-04:00

I am so thankful D is home.

I have seen over the last 11 years why God put two people together to raise a family. As independent and self-suffucient as I can be, it is definitely not desirable. I need him, and he needs me. I like that.

I have read posts today of people hurting. Women, in particular, hurting. Their pain is tangible. And it breaks my heart.

For whatever reason, since having my kids and especially since D went to war for over 2 years, when others are in pain, REAL pain, not the whiny stuff (like my last post!), I hurt for them and just want their life to be better.

We were at a Weekend to Remember conference in February and the speaker told a story of a couple who lost 2 children in an accident. I cried so much another couple sitting by us thought we must have had some similar situation. Thankfully we have not. I just cannot imagine their pain.

So as I was reading these blogs, I cried so much D stopped and asked if I was ok. Note: I am hormonal, and I DO cry at the drop of a hat during PMS. But the tears would have come regardless.

I am trying to figure out what God wants me to do with this tenderness I have for other people's pain, their struggles. In my new job, there is not a lot of room and/or tolerance from my co-workers for having concern for other people. It is a fine line, I agree, that many people just want your pity. And I am pretty discerning when it comes to that.

But there are other people who truly have a difficult life. That's just the way it is. Should I go out of my way to help them? I feel a pull to do just that. But how will my co-workers view me? We are a tight office, and I am the newby. How do I give in to God and maintain close relationships with those around me? I will have to trust God to maintain those relationships as I am faithful to Him.

For the past 12 years, I have been able to choose who I spend time with. And now, I am forced into relationships that are uncomfortable. Some people bring out the worst in me. Others encourage me. But overall, I feel like I am just in "learning" mode. Learning how to deal with people I would probably never have chosen in the past to spend time with.

Satan spends a great deal of time telling me how pathetic I am at this. I am a type A, perfectionist, organized, well-spoken. I do not tend to take on a task unless I know I can complete it well. Just to finish is not enough for me. I have to leave a mark. To be in a new job, with new people, where I feel like I am dropping the ball once a day is daunting to me. I feel like a complete failure and am sure my job is in jeopardy. But when I speak to my office confidant (also a believer, worked in this environment for several years, mature) she assures me that it is just the enemy and everyone drops the ball sometimes. At one point or another, everyone feels like they are just blowing it with those around them.

I know if I let Him, God will teach me. Sometimes I feel like I have so much going on at work, how will I ever be able to listen and learn?

So this is where I am this Sunday afternoon. Just mulling it over.

When It Rains, It Pours...

2008-08-19T19:56:00.003-04:00

Bear with me here. Because I am pretty certain sometime last year I promised not to complain anymore.

Apparently I have trouble keeping my promises.

Since lists are easy, I will list my complaints.

1. I have a slight medical issue which requires me to eat certain foods at certain times. This morning I forgot to eat. Which turned out badly, as I started feeling ill at work. On my 2nd week.

2. I cannot stand for people to make a big deal over me. Which is exactly what happened when I did not feel weel. It makes me feel like "baggage" instead of "part of the team." And yes, that's how bad it was. I could not hide the fact that I was not well.

3. I took Ash and Sarah to their first dance class today immediately after work. Where Sarah proceeded to cry for half an hour because "it is my first time and I'm scared". Let me spell that for you, in case you are not aware: F-U-N.

4. After dinner, Mad informed me I should look up at the ceiling. Where there is a HUGE water stain that was not there yesterday. After inspecting the second floor, I am no closer to discovering the origin of said stain.

5. Ginger had no dog food. No choice but to go to store, which adds to my ever so empty day. Just glad I had one more thing to do.

6. Call husband who is out of town on the way to buy dog food. We agree there is a stain on the ceiling and neither of us knows what it is. Then he has to go eat dinner, because who can think on an empty stomach?

7. After returning from store, call home owner warranty people to get someone to look at ceiling and stop whatever is causing it. That was over an hour ago.

8. For the next 3 days, I have 12 hour days. I am COMPLETELY exhausted after 8 hours, so I have no idea how I'm going to get through 12. Not to mention, how I am going to get ceiling/leak repaired when I am not home.

9. I am ready to scream.

10. AAAARRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!

Working on Things

2008-08-16T12:42:00.003-04:00

It has been a week since my last post, and with good reason. I started work!

I absolutely love my job and the people I get to work with. It is such a nice change of pace to have an outlet besides my blog!

My kids have one more week until school and they simply cannot wait. They are so social, much like me. I think God just makes it where we need other people.

Right now, D is on a business trip, and he will be back next week. We are discussing some generational sins we have been made aware of and ways to break the cycle. We know it is imperitive for the healthy spiritual life of our children, as well as just improving our quality of life in general.

One of my co-workers told me something wonderful she did when her kids were at home (one is in college and the other just graduated). She prayed that God would stop any sins she was commiting against her children from becoming generational sins. I beleive God honors our efforts as parents to bring up our children in the way they should go, and this prayer covers all of the things I don't even realize I am screwing up. I am not trying to minimalize my need to realize what I am doing wrong, I just know myself well enough to know sometimes I miss things that are right in front of my face, for a little while anyway!

I am loving this new season of life, and will be posting less often, I'm certain. But things seem to be coming around to feel like normal. Which is nice.

Hanging Out with Model-T

2008-08-10T11:58:00.006-04:00

Yesterday I had a moment of temporary insanity.

I offered my truck-loving husband an opportunity for just the two of us to go look at trucks.

I think "look" means something different to men than to women.

Needless to say he was like a kid in a candy store.

We were doing fine at the dealership until we got too close to the building. There was an area of orange cones separating the customer parking from the vehicles that are for sale. We started out on the opposite end, so we were heading right for the cones. My husband spotted a salesman coming our way and said, "You are getting too close to the cones! They saw us!"

Crap.

Before I knew it, and no matter how hard I tried to ignore him, Carlos was introducing himself. He asked for my name, and I believe my exact words were "We are not buying a truck today. My husband is over there. Go talk to him."

Nothing like being up front about your expectations in your relationships.

My husband actually told Carlos his real name and started talking to him about trucks.

Crap again.

Since I handle most of the haggling in our household ( I believe the other term is called Mother) and am quite comfortable doing so, I usually handle the haggling outside the home as well.

So as Carlos is telling us all the incentives, I keep repeating we are NOT buying a truck until next year.

Let me just mention here that Carlos is seriously the coolest car salesman we have ever met.

Like when I asked him to pay off our credit card debt so we could buy a truck from him now, he was all like, ok. Sure thing. Do you take a check?

Then I asked him what the incentives were next year, knowing full well Ford only updates incentives every month. I was just testing him, see, because he is new. As a matter of fact, he has worked there for only two weeks and sold several F-150s last month.

Impressive.

Carlos answered my question about next year's incentives (after he realized I was on my insanity kick and totally played along) by telling us that next year, Ford is giving away F-150s.

You heard it here first, folks.

And D and I get first pick because Carlos is going to call us right away when this occurs.

So, apparently we were laughing too much and Carlos' boss came over to get us focused.

D and I really dislike focus when it is just the two of us with no kids. We prefer fits of laughter as if you are complete idiots, especially in public places. We don't get to experience that often...um, I mean EVER.

So it is safe to say D and I were elated when Bossman left.

Since we were NOT buying a truck, I felt I should make good use of our time and get to know Carlos.

We agreed to let Carlos take us to another part of the car lot and show us MORE trucks.

On our road trip, we learned he is from a family of 6 also, and has twin sisters. He thought growing up in a big family was cool, but they about drove his mom crazy. He is originally from New York, but likes the south for the cost of living and the weather. Oh, and he used to be in the Army too.

We felt sorry for Carlos having to work for Bossman,and we were afraid he was going to get in trouble if we didn't at least go in and sit down to let him "run some numbers".

Plus, as D said, "These are some great deals."

Did I mention "crap?"

So Carlos ran the numbers. As we were sitting there, a woman came on the intercom and called Chris to the shower.

Say What?

Oh, Chris to the Tower.

Much better.

Once Carlos took "The Numbers" to the Boss, we did not see him again.

For hours.

We were re-directed to Zoe, who has 6 names and it was super cool when she said them in her native Spanish. It was like a constant rolling "rrrrrrrr".

We liked Zoe too. She has 3 houses, a brother-in-law who breaks her tools, and was a carpenter in the Army. I told her all I knew about real estate (which is basically nothing) and told her she should get to know Donald Trump. And Zoe works as a car salesperson because she did not have anything better to do. She was bored.

We later saw Carlos again and told him playfully that we were angry that he ditched us. He told us that he wasn't allowed to talk to us.

WHAT?

It seems that because we were having a good time, and we were being nice to Carlos, his Boss people felt he was not the right salesman for us.

D and I were pretty ticked. Mainly because Carlos was being punished for being The Best Car Salesman Ever.

I mean, we liked Zoe, but we started with Carlos. It just seemed unfair.

But we did tell Carlos that D is running for President of the United States when he retires, and he could be the campaign manager if he wanted to.

I think by then Carlos will be the President of the Ford Motor Company, so he probably won't take us up on it.

As Zoe got the truck cleaned up for us, the one we picked out, drove, haggled and signed for, all I could think was "How did this happen?"

My only explanation is I had a moment of temporary insanity.

Oh, and just as a side note, I made it through 7 hours, two salespeople (Carlos and Zoe), two Bosspeople, and the finance guy without telling anyone my name.

Because I have lofty aspirations like that. It's all about setting goals and meeting them.

The Country Mouse and The City Mouse

2008-08-08T22:54:00.003-04:00

When you spend the night with people, you learn alot about them.

We had a friend and her kids over this weekend. She has spent the summer traveling, making the best use of her time as her husband is in Iraq.

Our families hail from the same state.

Her family owned some sort of mansion downtown in the town we live in currently, and apparently owned most of the street lined with mansions.

My family owns some farm land in town where we grew up, and a few have houses as opposed to double-wide trailers.

My friend has a "family name" that she shares with her female ancestors, and has passed it on to her daughter. It is their middle name, and a college in our state was named after this family name when her family founded it.

Our son is named after his grandpa. I was named after an old song by the Allman Brothers' Band. And as far as founding anything, I think maybe my family founded a Lynyrd Skynyrd fan club.

I just found it interesting that our geographical upbringing could be so similar, but our social upbringing was like living on Mars and Venus.

My friend is completely down to earth and real, but she has manners I didn't even know existed.

What is even more interesting to me is how her upbringing has played into her adult life. With her husband's position in the Army, she is in situations where she needs to draw from her meticulous upbringing, and she never misses a beat.

Where I, on the other hand, fumble through and learn as I go, which is pretty much how I do everything in life, and figure it will all turn out okay in the end.

It's funny, I am not in the least jealous of my friend, I am just in awe and amazed at how different our lives are, yet we have enough common ground to be able to be very close.

I learn so much about dealing with people, situations, and life in general from watching her in action. I cannot imagine what the benefits are for her hanging out with the likes of me.

Maybe I can get her some discounted tickets to a Skynyrd concert...

Shhhh!

2008-08-07T08:39:00.003-04:00

Yesterday I took the kids shopping for school supplies. I had each child's list in hand, had prepared myself mentally for their excited actions while in the store, and thought I was well prepared.

The kids were unbelievably well behaved. I was thrilled. No one was crying. There was no arguing. They were even quiet because they know how I need quiet to think.

However, no one gave the memo of how I need quiet to think to a family of five that happened to be shopping for school supplies at the exact same time we were.

Nice.

At first, I only spotted Mom and three daughters. She was a novice back-to-school shopper. How could I tell? Mom was as excited as the girls.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm all excited about the kids going back to school, goodness knows. But the actual shopping part? With kids in tow? Not so much.

So, little Patty is running around like a soon-to-be-kindergartener, choosing her own school supplies, weaving in and out of an overly crowded aisle, while Mom just stands at the end, smiling. Yep, she does not have a clue, is what I'm thinking.

Meanwhile, I am pushing my buggy, trying not to run over little Patty who keeps running in front of me as she darts in and out of buggy traffic, AND I'm making sure my kids don't get any wild ideas from sweet little Patty, mainly by giving them the look.

Sarah may be the same age as little Patty, but by golly, she knows the look.

So, as I'm combing over my three lists (Maddie did hers on her own, thank goodness) of school supplies to make sure I am getting everything we need, Dad shows up.

Or should I say, sounds up. Meaning he was LOUD.

He stood at the opposite end of the aisle from Mom and held a conversation that could be heard from the other side of the SuperCenter, I'm certain.

"How much are those crayons? Because these are cheap, and I'm all about the cheap!"

He looks at me, smiling and laughing, as if he is waiting for me to laugh with him.

No such luck today, buddy. I try in vain to ignore him and focus as he continues to hold the aisle long conversation.

Oh, did I mention his wife did not speak back to him? I do not know if she was hoping people did not realize they were together or if she was just ignoring his ignorance. Which is how you stay married to someone like that, in my opinion.

I realize hind sight is 20/20. I should have offered to help this family with their list FOR ONE so I could get on with my list for three.

I told Madison in a hushed tone to hurry up and get what she needed so we could get off of this aisle. We both just started tossing things in that might possibly be on our list, not really caring if they were, and decided to go elsewhere in the store to sort through and make sure we had everything.

Only here's the thing: Little Patty's family ended up where we went FOR QUIET.

I thought I might scream. Perhaps I did. It was such an odd experience I'm not sure I can be held accountable for my actions.

Dad starts complaining about how specific the list is, and why do the ziploc bags have to be ths kind with sliders instead of the ones that are impossible to close, and Mom just stands there in silence focusing on the kids.

I could not take it anymore. If she is not going to put this stupidity to rest and give the rest of us a break, then I will.

So I look directly at him and say, "It makes the teacher's life easier."

To which he had no response.

Finally. Quiet.

Love

2008-08-06T09:06:00.003-04:00

Last night, D and I enjoyed our anniversary with a date. We went to a new restaurant (for us) and it was perfection. It has been deemed our new favorite.

D and I had some great, deep conversation going on as we drove to the restaurant. There was a running theme about our thankfulness that God has brought us this far, with far being an all-encompassing term (in love, spiritually, financially, emotionally, etc.).

I was rambling on, and talking about something in the medical world that is new to me, called Asperger's.

We were sitting at a stop light, and D whipped his head around, as in disbelief, and said, "What?!"

"Asperger's. It's a condition..."

Here is where D starts laughing so hard he can hardly drive.

So I say, "What is so funny?"

"Say it again."

"Asperger's."

Oh. Maybe it is my pronunciation of the word, so I try it differently, so maybe it doesn't sound so profane.

The reaction: more roars of laughter.

Then D asks, "Where do you think they got that name?"

So I respond, " It's usually the name of the person who discovered it."

To which D replies, "Wouldn't you have hated to grow up with that name? Hi, I'm Joe Asperger. Or, even better, Sergeant Asperger, reporting for duty. You know the guy could never be a preacher. Reverend Asperger."

So for the entire night, D would look at me over our romantic dinner and ever so often whisper, "Asperger."

Love is patient, love is kind...

Love is making each other laugh.

My Fantasies Exposed

2008-08-05T09:05:00.004-04:00

Today D and I celebrate 13 years of marriage!

We are curious by nature, and over the years we have been testing theories about marriage.

You could say we are the Myth Busters: Marriage Edition.

Fact or Myth: Marriage will ultimately fulfill me, making all of my princess dreams of happily ever after come true.

Answer: Myth. We are humans with the built-in ability to disappoint one another on a somewhat regular basis.

Fact or Myth: After a number of happily married years, we have this "marriage stuff" pinned down.

Answer: Myth. We are humans with the built-in ability to disappoint one another on a somewhat regular basis.

Fact or Myth: We are the perfect married couple. No problems, only smiles.

Answer: Duh...should I even write myth? We are humans with the built-in ability...you get the picture.

Fact or Myth: Marriage requires a lot of effort, willingness to change, and even more commitment.

Answer: Fact. Thankfully, God gives our sorry human abilities Super-Human powers (also called the Holy Spirit) and helps us to grow and be able to put forth the needed effort, change and stay firm in our commitment to one another.

Fact or Myth: I feel blessed to be celebrating our 13th anniversary knowing we love one another and are committed to our marriage for the long haul, even when times are tough.

Answer: Fact. We could be a statistic for divorce rates for some Army survey. Or a statistic for people living in loveless marriages. It has not always been easy; in fact, many times it has been extremely challenging, painful, and difficult. But it has been good, and most definitely worth the effort.

While we de-bunked a lot of the preconcieved ideas we had going into marriage, we have gained something priceless:

The Truth.

Marriage is meant to be life-long, and we are to help one another in our struggles along the way. Usually we only hear of divorce, or a couple celebrating 50 years of marriage, or of a couple "having some problems."

No one tells you what the other side of "real marriage" looks like.

Like when you discover something about the other person that you feel like you can't live with, yet here you are, a Believer, knowing God already knew this would happen before you ever got married.

Or when circumstances are so ugly and dark you can't even imagine the light, the good times, coming back again, much less being a part of your daily life.

No one talks about real, personal issues, especially regarding marriage, until AFTER the divorce. But then it's too late.

If more people talked about what is really going on with them, without degrading, dishonoring, and disrespecting their spouse in the process, I honestly believe we would find something interesting:

We are not all that different.

There are different levels of the same issues, but pretty much, they are at the core the same issues.

Why is knowing that helpful?

Because then you know there is not something "wrong" with your marriage. It is normal. And we are all just working through our stuff, trying to come out on the other side with our marriage, with love and respect for one another still in-tact.

So while I may not have the glass slipper approach anymore, I definitely am living proof that happy does exist on the other side of the darkness, that God does restore and bring light and life back.

All He asks of us is to keep going and trust Him with the result.

Musings of a Burned Out Hostess

2008-08-04T15:52:00.003-04:00

It is official. I am exhausted.

We have had company or been someone else's company for the last 5 weeks.

I love people. I consider myself a people person.

But as of right now, I am wearing headphones, listening to my itunes, and just trying to entertain myself. I have no one else's interests at heart at this very minute.

I do not care what we eat, what we do, what we look like, or pretty much anything outside of safety issues at this moment.

Quite self-centered. Also, quite necessary.

I have no funny stories. I have no deep thoughts, except for something you might see on Saturday Night Live.

Please tell me you have seen SNL's Deep Thoughts. Seriously people, what is life without Deep Thoughts?

I gotta have more cowbell. From the Church Lady.

I wish it was Saturday.

Maybe I can find some re-runs on TV. Then I would be willing to part with my oh-so-beloved itunes.

For a little while anyway.

Thank you, creator of SNL whose name I cannot recall just now. And also to the comedians who write and star in their skits purely for comedic satisfaction.

I am thankful we share the same warped sense of funny.

Homes and Horses

2008-08-01T08:49:00.003-04:00

I am on a roll! Finally, two months after moving in, I am getting a feel for how to get this house to feel like home.

It is amazing how "stuff" stops the creative flow in my brain. Within a single day of realizing and dealing with my issues (last post), I was able to get the dining room completely done (except paint, have not been to the store yet).

My entire family came in one by one throughout the day to let me know how great it looks and feels in there. Like we are home.

Yesterday I was able to get our entry done, and today I have plans for our eat-in-kitchen area. It is such a great feeling to make my family comfortable and my guests feel at home here.

I will post some pics once I get new batteries for the camera.

At least I am hoping that is the problem. Sarah dropped it the other day, said "Oops! Oh, It's ok. It's not broken." Translated that means there were no pieces detached. If only electronics were that simple!

In other news, D has been taking an equestrian course this week for work. He comes home and tells of his adventures every evening, smelling (yum) and looking (yum for real) like a cowboy.

Yesterday we had storms again, torrential downpours. He had to make it from the barn to his vehicle, which according to him was fine, as he was already soaked.

While I was waiting for him to come home, I lit candles and had only accent lights on in the house, because that is what I do on rainy evenings. I am a romantic and I feel like I am living in medieval times when I have lots of candles lit. It makes me feel calm and makes my house feel homey.

Not like like homey-G, like homey comfortable. Not like my crib, but like my castle.

You get the picture. Homey.

So my cowboy man walks through our front door, swaggering like a man who has been riding a horse all day does, soaked to the bone, into our newly cozy, candle-lit home.

It was like something out of a movie.

I would name one, but I do not watch westerns, unless Blazin' Saddles counts, and that just does not evoke the swept-off-my-feet picture I am trying to create.

Sadly, today is his last day of equestrian training.

Our family is going to a dinner this evening with all the cowboys in training and their families to celebrate the end of class.

I wonder if I could convince him to take the class again...

Hard Lessons

2008-07-29T09:43:00.002-04:00

The past couple of weeks have been really heavy for me.

I have been wrestling with some things that are going on in my life, and have discovered some things rooted deep within that are not necessarily true, and are definitely negative.

I took a personality profile my friend over at GrOwThSpUrTs had linked to her post and God used a specific question on there to get my brain turning.

You think conflict is:
A. Hard for you to deal with
B. A normal part of relationships

My choice was A.

I did not even have to negotiate that one in my brain. So I decided to find out why I feel that way.

Until this week, I would have said it came from being an only child until I was almost 16 years old. I mean, who are you going to fight with if there is no one around?!

But as I explored deeper, I realized conflict is hard for me because I have never seen real conflicts, the ones that really matter, resolved successfully.

When my parents were in conflict, it meant the end of life as I knew it. Divorce was the solution to their problems, and to a large degree, the beginning of mine as it pertains to relationships.

So I thought about my grandparents. I have one set who were completely devoted to one another, and there were serious health issues, and the life they lived together was one taking care of another. To my knowledge, there was not much conflict. ( I am speaking past tense because my precious grandmother went to be with the Lord last May.)

The other set of grandparents cannot stand one another, and people wonder why they are married. Their conflict started when my mother was a little girl, and has raged to this day, resulting in anger, bitterness, resentment, and depression.

I thought about my teenage years. I always wondered why my friendships ended after an argument, or why I could not be friends when a boyfriend and I broke up. Now I realize it was because I assumed it had to be the end. I did not know how to move past it.

Now, in 13 years (August 5!) of marriage, D and I have had some arguments, sure. But overall, they have been few, far between, and pretty insignificant. God made us very compatable. And we are not scrappers by nature, I guess!

But now the time has come, and God has allowed the pressure to be applied, and it must be time for me to learn.

As I thought about the circumstances surrounding me at this point in my life, my marriage, my parenting, I realized how much my view of conflict colors the way I handle situations and bleeds into other areas of my beliefs.

Because I have not seen conflict handled well, I have believed all of my adult life that people cannot, will not, do not really change. Oh sure, maybe for a week or a month. But long lasting change, the kind that is necessary from time to time in our life when we realize our actions are hurting others, ourselves, or our walk with God, deep down I have accepted, believed as truth that people are not capable of doing that.

Only I did not realize I thought that until God showed me where my view of conflict came from. And He has brought all of this to my attention in the last week to ten days, in the midst of some serious, life changing, personal conflicts. Which, of course, is how God works. On-the-job training, so to speak.

(I knew something was coming! Remember my post with the video? Well, God got His message through to me!)

While it has been a difficult realization for me, I cannot begin to tell you the peace I have just knowing where to begin, understanding why I feel like it is the end of the world when conflict comes to visit.

I always wonder what I will learn in tough times. How will I change from this experience? What am I going to learn?

While I am still in the beginning stages of this process, I am looking forward to the person I will be when God gets done with this lesson. I have never been disappointed and have always liked who I am as a person better after He has done a hard work in me, even though the "getting there" is SO tough.

Lord, You are the potter, I am the clay. Help me to be teachable, humble on this journey with you. Help me to embrace truth and be aware of lies planted long ago. Thank you for being faithful to me. Wrap us in your love and protect us as we move forward, into the life you have waiting on the other side of this.

And we WILL get to the other side of this. Our pastor quoted Winston Churchill last Sunday, and God spoke it straight to me.

"If you are going through hell, keep going."

That made SO MUCH SENSE to me, I cannot even tell you. Everyone I have had to watch, to give me an example to follow, has stopped and taken up residence in their hell instead of moving forward. Maybe they did not realize at the time that is what they were choosing, but in time, their ungodly choices have proven disastrous.

Why would I do that? Who would quit right in the middle of the fire? If I was burning, I would not stop until the fire was quenched or I was dead. And now I have to apply that principle to my relationships.

I am thankful the Lord is for us, fights on our behalf, and gives us strength, insight and wisdom in tough times.

Personality

2008-07-25T19:51:00.000-04:00

You Are An ISFJ

The Nurturer

You have a strong need to belong, and you very loyal.
A good listener, you excel at helping others in practical ways.
In your spare time, you enjoy engaging your senses through art, cooking, and music.
You find it easy to be devoted to one person, who you do special things for.

In love, you express your emotions through actions.
Taking care of someone is how you love them. And you do it well!

At work, you do well in a structured environment. You complete tasks well and on time.
You would make a good interior designer, chef, or child psychologist.

How you see yourself: Competent, dependable, and detail oriented

When other people don't get you, they see you as: Boring, dominant, and stuck in a rut

What's" Your Personality Type?

Run, Forest, Run!!

2008-07-25T15:10:00.002-04:00

The bank decided to credit our account today, so the $11 famine is officially over...whew!

It became a joke of sorts.

One kid would ask to do something, or buy something, and another kid would say, "WE ONLY HAVE ELEVEN DOLLARS. DUH."

Maybe I should let them keep thinking that and they would stop asking for everything they see on T.V. Hmmm...

Unless it is a pair of running shoes for Daniel.

The boy is a runnin' fool, I tell you.

He got on the treadmill for the FIRST time and jogged 4 miles in an hour.

He has legs that do not touch the floorboard in the car (sitting in a booster, mind you, but STILL!). I tried to equate what that would be comparable to for an adult, but alas, my leg length comparison chart was nowhere to be found.

I imagine it would look something like Fred Flintstone trying to get his car going, though.

Either way, in my non-expert opinion, he is well on his way to marathon status. I am envious and excited all at the same time.

Maybe in 10 years (when he is 18) I will be prepared to run one with him!

I better go get started.

Hackers

2008-07-23T06:01:00.002-04:00

Yesterday, someone cleaned out our checking account. Oh, they were nice enough to leave $11, because, you know, they were being considerate.

After I called the bank to assure them I did not authorize a triple digit- nearing quadruple digits-transaction to a cell phone company, I was informed it would be 5 to 7 days before the investigation was complete and then we would get our money back.

I was also informed my debit card was inactivated and not to use it until I get a new one. You know, because I could go WILD with the $11 we have left.

Also yesterday, my computer started acting weird. We have this new TERRIBLE phone and internet provider due to moving to the sticks, so at first I thought it was them. But now, I'm fairly certain it's not.

We have all the protection: anti-virus, anti-spyware, firewall. The next step is to enlist a sharp shooter. I mean, seriously, what's a family to do?

So it may be a few days before I post anything, as I'm turning my computer over to someone I trust NOT to steal all our information and find a solution for us.

Nicknames

2008-07-21T19:03:00.003-04:00

It is true what they say, (whoever they are), that each child is unique, even siblings who are born and raised by the same parents.

We have nicknames for each of our children that best describe their traits.

Madison is The Beast. Do not disturb The Beast and all goes well with you. If you have ever had a preteen daughter, you know what I'm talking about. If you have a daughter and she has not reached this age yet, think of the term after she has let anyone who dares come near her have it. By it I mean her opinion forced forward by a surge of hormones, otherwise known as ATTITUDE.

Daniel is The Destroyer. We are certain his main goal in life right now is to destroy anything he comes in contact with. Be it person, place, or thing, he knows no bounds.

Ashlyn is The Informer. If anything is going on anywhere, Ashlyn knows about it, and in about 10 seconds, you are going to know about it too. The main purpose of her informant status is to get others into trouble. Otherwise, she feels she has failed at her mission.

Sarah is Skippy-Long-Stocking. She has started skipping here, there, and everywhere. While she skips, she sings. Her favorite songs are by the Jonas Brothers and today she was singing in the toilet stall in Walmart. Apparently, if you can't see her, you can't hear her.

D is The Enforcer. He brings down Marshall Law when needed, which seems to be quite often around here.

And me, well, D tells me I am The General. I keep everyone and everything going, rain or shine. Maybe we should change my name to The Mailman, or as our kids call him, The Maildude.

Ginger, our Golden Retriever, is The BFD. That is our endearing acronym for Big Fat Dummy. She is 30 pounds overweight and drives us crazy, but we love her.

Max the Cat is The LFD. You guessed it, Little Fat Dummy. Same as Ginger, only in cat form.

So there you have it. Nicknames in a nutshell.

Family

2008-07-20T16:44:00.004-04:00

This weekend was our annual family reunion. Since we were actually within driving distance, and not to mention this reunion is the one every family would want if they knew about it, we went. For the first time in 8 years. And it was fabulous!

First, let me just say how my heart doth long for the mountains. That's where I grew up, and that's where family is.

Last weekend, we went to the beach, and as much as I love seeing God's power in the waves and the beauty of a sunset there, you can have it.

I'll take majestic mountains with their cool, refreshing air and the always changing landscape any day over sand and surf.

As we got our first glimpse of the backdrop of mountains over our little hometown, my heart actually did a little flip-flop. I felt like a teenager falling in love.

Once at the reunion, which we should really re-name something clever because it simply does NOT fall under the reunion category, we had a blast! Our kids played with cousins until they were red-faced and exhausted. They had water balloon fights, rode golf carts, and laughed like old friends. We had a fireworks finale, and Sarah thought it was just for her, as it was her birthday. Sweet.

I am one of the least sentimental people I know. But this weekend, looking back over the last year, I could not help but cry, and they were tears of joy and thankfulness.

The same weekend last year, we almost lost our Daniel. He had a terrible biking accident, and he and I were flown to Hopkins University where God put His hand on Daniel and saved his life. Once he was able to breathe on his own again and taken off machines, he was released from the hospital 9 hours later, because he was doing so well. Hmmm...wonder how that could have been?!

I am thankful my son drives me crazy daily with his "boy" stuff, and grins when he's mischievous. I melt when I see his little heart worn on his face.

I am thankful my husband has been home for A YEAR AND A HALF STRAIGHT! No field time, deployments, nothing. And we needed it. And God knew it and cares for us.

I am thankful my girls have each other to laugh with and fight with.

I am thankful to be back in my home state. Dorothy said it best: "There's no place like home."

I am thankful to get to stay somewhere instead of moving all the time. To be able to own a home and call it ours, to feel like we can "settle in" for the long haul...Again, much needed, and God provided.

I am thankful for the opportunities God has provided in our jobs. He has led us each step this year, and there is no doubt He has intervened relentlessly on our behalf.

I am thankful I had the opportunity to reconnect with family this weekend. We have spent so many years making friends our family, and they are truly fabulous and I love them dearly. But to be able to spend time who share your name, your childhood memories, your love for the same people, and allow our kids the opportunity to make new memories with people who love you just because you exist, is a whole new level of what it means to "go home" to me.

I noticed so many cousins were missing someone close to them; a father, a mother, a grandmother, a grandfather. My grandmother was one of the ones that passed away just over a year ago. I was caught off guard at how I longed to see her there. We were very close; kindred spirits, really. And I miss her voice, her face. But I am so happy, truly, for her, because she is in heaven, and has no more pain. I suppose being in a setting where I was so used to seeing her triggered a response I had not anticipated.

But on the flip-side of all the loss, and even more so, I noticed ALL THE KIDS!! I know, approximately 1/5 of them were ours, but still! When D and I counted yesterday at home, we came up with 19! It was fantastic! Boys, girls, toddlers, teenagers, and it made everyone's heart smile, of that I am certain.

I feel so loved, and I wish everyone could leave a family reunion feeling as special as my family made us feel.

Reflection

2008-07-17T10:27:00.006-04:00

I know God is driving something home in me.

On Sunday, our Pastor told about Ernest Hemmingway being challenged to write a story using only 6 words. This is what he wrote.

"For sale. Baby shoes. Never used."

We were challenged to think about what 6 words we would use to tell our story.

Then this morning, I found this on one of the blogs I read regularly.

Right now, I am just contemplative as I think about what God is saying to me.

I hope it speaks to you.

Jockeying for Position

2008-07-17T09:40:00.004-04:00

I have come to a realization this morning.

It was very hard for me to deal with.

In fact, I think I do a fairly decent job of focusing on how I need to change instead of other people or situations changing. But I have been failing desperately in this one area.

Pray as I might, pleading with God to change the circumstances so I would NOT have to face it, things did not change.

I knew it was coming, and I knew it would be painful.

It was.

So this morning I faced the music.

I vacuumed my floors.

Oh, there were tears and gnashing of teeth. Not from me, but kids who could no longer hear the TV.

I thought about joining them, but decided against it.

Give me any other chore, Lord! was my prayer.

But my dirty carpet just mocked me.

We have had hardwood or tile for the past 11 years, and thanks to the inventors of Swiffer, Swiffer Wet, Swiffer for hardwoods, and all things Swiffer, my floor cleaning life was easy street.

Those days are over.

I did 15 loads of laundry (think bedding and towels for a family of 6) one day a week for 4 years, and also did my regular laundry, about 3 loads, twice a week, for a grand total of 21 loads a week.

It did not phase me.

I did dishes 3 times a day for 4 years. Not a word.

I swept and mopped twice a week, no problem. We had 2 area rugs which I broke out the beast (aka the vacuum cleaner) for, and I had to change the bag once a year, mainly for good measure, not because it was full!

I had to dump the canister after vacuuming this morning and we have only lived here 7 weeks.

I do not mean to imply I have vacuumed 7 times in those seven weeks. That would be an untruth.

Right on the heels of vacuuming is cleaning the bathrooms. That was my chart-topper for most dreaded chore. Thankfully, all that time I was doing laundry and sweeping, we only had one bathroom.

We now have three. Yea.

That is my next stop today.

When we get hardwoods installed (oh it will happen!), bathrooms will reclaim their #1 position.

But until that day comes, I will try to change my poor attitude about vacuuming.

If it happens, it will be God working through me and that NOT of myself!

Name Brands?

2008-07-16T14:39:00.003-04:00

To fight off the summer boredom, I decided to take all four children to Walmart.

Yes,you read that right. That should tell you the boredom level at our house.

I try not to take them anywhere that requires inside voices, shirt, and shoes, and where taking stuff you have not actually paid for is frowned upon.

Thankfully, we have outgrown that final statement, but we always do a hand and pocket check just to be sure the police do not slap on handcuffs as soon as we are out the doors.

Anyhoo, we entered Walmart and before my very eyes were racks and racks of L.E.I jeans for-no kidding- twenty dollars!!

D and I have already decided we need a second mortgage to dress our kids for school this fall, so seeing that we can actually buy some quality clothes at the local Walmart for twenty stinkin' dollars was more than I could take.

Mad tried on clothes until we found two outfits that we trendy and cheap! I have never been so excited to go to Walmart and buy clothes!

Then I bought this shirt for Sarah, even though it is about 10 sizes too big. For $3, I could NOT pass it up. Especially after yesterday's post about her and her beloved chocolate.
In case you can't read it, it says "I only beg for Chocolate".

Perfection.

I plan to make my first stop for school clothes at-you guessed it-Walmart, save a bundle and have kids that look cool. Maybe we won't need a second mortgage after all!

A tisket, A tasket....

2008-07-16T08:21:00.006-04:00

Check out this post. I believe we were separated at birth.

I promised in her comments section that I would post a pic of my Ikea sideboard, and here it is! It is actually a bookcase, but I bought it specifically to put in our dining room. It frees up cabinet space, displays pretty stuff, and allows my kids to access dishes without a) falling off the cabinet or b)breaking the Polish Pottery we use.

I also went a little crazy and took pics of all my basket organizational madness. It gave me pure joy to go around my house and take pictures of all the organization.

This is where I keep snacks, right on the counter so the kids can help themselves instead of me having to get it for them. At a different time. Every day.

This is where I keep the coffee supplies. I make frequent stops by this basket. I believe the others are getting jealous.

This is our fruit basket. Notice it matches the coffee basket. One was bought at a "basket factory" and the other was a gift from a friend who saw my love for baskets!
This one is for miscellaneous arts and craft supplies, under the actual sideboard, so my kids can color at their leisure, or if they need crayons for homework in the school year, they are within reach.

This basket holds items we use frequently: pens, dog leash, lists, you get the idea.
The basket on the left holds tea sets from Iraq that my kids play restaurant with frequently. The one on the right holds plastic bags. We grab those and the leash at the same time, and keep them in close proximity to each other.
I have baskets for everything. My son keeps his clothes in these Ikea baskets under his bed. Apparently, it is still a laborious task to put them away even though all one would need to do is lay them in the basket instead of the on the moon chair.
My son also has baskets on his bookcase. They hold all of his teeny tiny toys. You know, the ones that make adults want to cry because of the millions of pieces that somehow end up in your walk-in closet and you step on them with bare feet.

I also have baskets full of videos. Since I try to limit TV time (which I must say is not going well this long long l-o-n-g summer) they find it easy to choose from the basket and put it back. How this is different from or easier than putting them back on a shelving system, I could not tell you.

And finally (for now anyway, we are still getting settled in this new house), here are the baskets for toys. We are minimal when it comes to toys, as you can see. We have spent hundreds, probably thousands of dollars on toys, and my kids play restaurant with Lowe's aprons, tea sets from Iraq, and those plastic ketchup and mustard bottles you see at mom 'n pop restaurants. I am not a hoarder (how can you be a hoarder and have an obsession with organization?) so we frequently, gladly give things away.

And by the way, I have spent the better part of the afternoon looking at Ikea and thinking wistful, longing thoughts. We had one in Germany, and in our town last year, but the closest one to us is far, far away now.

However, I am willing to make the necessary sacrifice and drive the better part of a day to get to one. I may have to rent a U-Haul to get it all home, but it just proves the old saying true:

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Cocoa Beans and Sugar

2008-07-15T07:23:00.002-04:00

I adore having a big family.

I was an only child until I was almost 16, and so was my husband. We had no idea what we were missing until we had kids of our own.

Ashlyn and Sarah wanted money for their birthdays instead of toys, crafts, or books. They wanted to choose how to spend their own money.

In our house, this can only come from having Madison and Daniel as role models.

Both Madison and Daniel have earned money before. Madison does so every summer, pet sitting, and occasionally for babysitting her siblings. Let me say, I never knew pet sitting paid as well as it does!

The girls are as eager for Madison (or Daniel, whoever may have earned the money) to spend her money as she is! They point out things they would consider worth the money and are confused when she passes it by.

So both girls stated adamantly that they wanted cold hard cash for their birthdays.

D and I gave them each a single twenty dollar bill, knowing when you are 5 and 6 that is like going to Vegas and hitting the jackpot!

Sarah's reaction was SO classic of a 5 year old getting ready to enter Kindergarten. "I got a dolluh!"

Ashlyn, who has completed Kindergarten and understands there is more than ONE denomination of money, knew she had twenty dollars. Ashlyn is contemplative. She will really weigh the pros and cons before she makes her purchase. At least, that is what I assume, with her personality. She has never had money to spend, so we will see!

I keep the money for them, so it does not get lost. Sarah came and asked me for her dollar and let me know how she was prepared to spend it.

"Choc-o-late and gum!"

I asked what about a doll or paints.

"Choc-o-late. But if I had two or three dolluhs, maybe a doll. But I LOVE Choc-o-late!"

It took me back to several Easters ago in Germany. D was in Iraq, and the kids and I went to our Pastor's house for Easter dinner and egg hunts. It had been ages since I had had an adult conversation.

We had the egg hunt, which included eggs brimming with every candy imaginable. Everyone had full baskets and full bellies from the yummy dinner. So I proceeded to get caught up in good adult conversation.

Meanwhile, Sarah ate every single piece of candy in her basket. Then she went to other baskets to scavenge for candy.

When we realized what was going on, her eyes were glazed over and she was covered in chocolate.

I quickly gathered up the candy and said no more today. You have had enough.

"But, I wuv choc-wat."

Or last year, when we went to Hershey's Chocolate Factory in PA. Every single weekend for one year she asked to go back and go on the free ride inside the factory. It takes you around and shows how they make M&Ms from a cocoa bean, the entire process. It was cool, but here is the secret as to why she wanted to go back and specifically ride that ride:

At the end, they give you a small, snack size bag of chocolate. We got the Kissables, and I do not know if it changes periodically. But it does not matter, because it would be chocolate, and that would be fine with Sarah.

It seems like she has been waiting all these years to have her own money to spend on some chocolate goodness.

Now I'm trying to decide if I should inform her she does have twenty dollars, or if I should just dole it out occasionally. I'm thinking she may want to use it all on her beloved chocolate, which over time, not so bad. All at once, glazed eyes and sugar shock!

All Aboard!

2008-07-14T08:00:00.003-04:00

We went on our last shopping trip yesterday. For churches, that is.

Let me tell you, our entire family was at the point where we did not even want to attempt another church. After 7 weeks of searching and not finding a good fit, we were more than a little disappointed.

The first church I had found online looked the most similar to the one we had been attending before the move. However, our second day here we were forced to drive to the town where it is located and got terribly lost. So because of the drive that took ages, we assumed the church was too far and did not go. We did not have internet access for 3 weeks, and could not mapquest it, and we dared not try to find it on our own.

That is approximately when the 7 week famine began, in the sense of finding a church.

We had no real "worship" time during these weeks, not as D and I consider worship. No Christian setting to talk about real life issues. No music from the heart.

Once, at one of the churches we visited, I answered a question in Sunday School that was posed about why, as Believers, we stop being serious in our commitment to Christ. My answer, nothing earth-shattering, was that, just like marriage, a relationship with Christ requires work and over time, the newness wears off. People do not keep going and put forth the effort because we get distracted. Not that that is okay, just that it is one reason why Christians dawdle when it comes to their relationship with Christ.

D and I proceeded to get marriage counseling from the members of the class because I compared it to marriage. It was just unbelievable. One guy even said he worked on his marriage every day for last 23 years and has never felt the newness wear off. Then a lady chimed in to let us know how much work marriage takes.

Remember, the question was not about how to have a good marriage, it was about how to keep our commitment to Christ. Plus, the people kept looking straight at D and I when they spoke. It was both comical and humiliating!

Then during service we were informed we could overcome all of life's problems, whether depression, alcoholism, porn-addiction, if we just stop doing those things and instead, focus on Jesus. While I agree that we cannot overcome those things without Jesus' help, there are serious problems that require counsel, medicine, and community to hold us accountable. He talked about death and how we are selfish if we want that person to come back, and we should get on with our life and live joyfully for the Lord.Tell that to my friend who is a widow from the war in Iraq and has 4 kids to raise alone. Tell that to the parents who have lost their child. Life is not that cut and dry. People are hurting, and as a Believer, I choose to show Christ's love by meeting them where they are, just like Christ does for me and did in the New Testament for those needing His touch.

At the church we went to last week, the preacher talked about getting drunk on the 4th of July. I'm telling you he used the term "pony-keg" from the pulpit referring to his personal celebration, then proceeded to let us know he drank it himself. He even made some noises to let us know how drunk he had become on Friday night. Then he said God spoke to him and he prepared the sermon, all while inebriated.

I kind of thought he should get to know the guy from the other church, so He would know to look at Jesus and he would be "all better".

Needless to say, we were NOT happy campers. We both believed God would lead us to the church where He attends regularly (hehe), we just were not sure when.

On Saturday we drove to the beach. We mapquested the way, and it took us back in the direction of the town where we had gotten hopelessly lost. We had driven a relatively short distance (compared to what we had been driving to church) and there was the sign on the building for the FIRST church we had wanted to attend. Remember, the one we thought was so far away? Yes, well, it was the closest.

I just commented about oh, look , there's that church. About 10 hours later, on the way home, we passed it again. So I asked D what he thought.

He said, "What have we got to lose except another Sunday morning?" So we told the kids we were going to YET another church. They were all like, yeah, whatever, at this point. And so were we.

D prayed that God would PLEASE show us because we were SO tired of looking. SO done with being without a community of like-minded Believers.

I kind of thought this might be The One when D prayed that because I felt like otherwise, there was a very real possibility we would either stop going all together except occasionally when we could stand the "rituals", or we would settle and become numb, neither of which is God's will, and neither of which we desired.

When we got out of the car on Sunday morning, the entire posture of our family could be summed up in one word: resigned. We had no expectations. Well, that's not entirely true. We expected to be disappointed.

We got the kids settled in Children's Church and went into service, where we proceeded to sing contemporary music (a must have for our family) and saw people in love with Jesus. The pastor got up and I am telling you, God gave him that message just for us! While we did need it spiritually (remember the 7 week famine?), it was like God was saying to us, "This is The Church for you. This church and your family are on the same set of tracks, going the same direction, with the same Conductor." I call that trackin'.

The church was formed specifically to reach the unchurched. Which was the goal of our previous church. Which is the goal of our family.

No need to dress as if you are going to a ball. People were dressed all across the spectrum, and Maddie felt comfortable in her shorts and T-shirt. The pastor had slacks and a polo, no jacket and tie like he is going to sell me some insurance.

We got to talk with the pastor afterward. We told him about our time in Germany and how God taught us not to box Him into some "Americanized" mold. We talked about worshiping with nationalities from all over the globe and how that affected our view of God. We talked about the importance of practical, relevant, Biblical preaching, which he had already delivered. Missions is HUGE on our list, and we were on the same page there too.

Our entire family loved it! You can imagine the burden that has been lifted, just knowing we belong. We have a place. We will be able to talk to like minded Believers about real life issues. What a relief.

ALOHA!

2008-07-12T08:12:00.003-04:00

Hello from Hawaii!!

Well, not the real Hawaii, such as Oahu or Maui, but apparently, this counts.

My little girls turn 5 and 6 eight days apart. Yesterday Ashlyn turned 6 and next Saturday Sarah turns 5. So we did what most red-blooded Americans do, and had a birthday party.

This was an easy one though. You see, because we moved so close to their birthdays, they did not know anyone to invite. So we had some family come in for the weekend to "beef up" the guest list!

While I am a little sad for them to have a party without friends, I am not sad about missing the chaos that ensues when you have 10 to 20 five and six year olds running around.

Either way, my girls had a blast and were just excited about going to Hawaii to celebrate.

At first, the two of them were adamant about having a Hannah Montana birthday party. I was not too thrilled. Not because there is anything inherently wrong with Hannah Montana, I just wanted something a little less teenager-ish, but that is an entire post on its own.

So imagine my elation when we went to the party supply store and instead of Hannah Montana, they chose a Hawaii theme!

They were so excited, they both said , "Mom, it is your FIRST time going to Hawaii!!"

Imagine my surprise when I was informed they had already been. In fact, this was their third time going.

Considering we do EVERYTHING together and are NEVER apart, I was a bit puzzled.

So I asked them when, exactly, did they go to Hawaii?

The much beloved and always adventurous Vacation Bible School and Sunday School had supplied them with a free trip. Who knew Hawaii could be so close?

So yesterday afternoon, I went to Hawaii. My first trip. And it was wonderful.

Smiling faces, laughter, food, and family. One for the history books.

I Got the Power, Power, Power

2008-07-10T08:55:00.002-04:00

Last night at about 8:30, our power went out. We have lost power more in the house that we've been in here for 6 weeks more than we have ever lost power anywhere else. It is driving us crazy!

I tried to call the electric company.The automated voice informed me that they had added a new feature for my convenience: voice activation.

You know, where you say or press 1. Everyone I know just loves voice activated systems, because they are so effective. Precise.

In case you can't tell, that is dripping with sarcasm.

I called back 700 times and pressed every option available, but NEVER got an actual person on the phone. Only the nice automated lady who I wanted to disassemble for saying, "I'm sorry. I did not understand your request. Please try again."

All I'm sayin' is, my power bill is OUT OF THIS WORLD expensive. More than friends up north who have their power pumped in from Florida, so it costs a gazillion dollars. Mine costs more than theirs.

So why on earth can't I get an actual human on the phone? I mean, what exactly are they doing with all the money I'm spending on power? Instead of "upgrading" the phone system to one that people have hated since the beginning of its time, they could actually hire PEOPLE so I could let them know my power has been out for 5 hours and when will it be on and what exactly is the problem anyway?

Whew. I'm done.

So anyway, we are all up now. And grumpy. Apparently there was a lot of bed-shifting and bed-sharing last night between the kids. And one in particular is NOT happy about being kicked out of her new queen size bed by two little munchkins.

The other day, Mad and Daniel got into an argument (shock!). He wrote a note that really made Mad mad.

It said: Be wear. Madison the evil monster.

Yes, I am aware be wear is misspelled. I am writing it as he did.

D and I laughed (in private) and came out from the private and gave Mad some good advise: Embrace the Monster.

We all feel like an evil monster sometimes. And if someone is calling you on it, then own it.

Well, today that advise has come full circle.

We all sleep with fans going, for "white noise". So, with no fans comes no noise.

Also, no A/C. And with psychos as they are in the world today, we do not dare sleep with open windows.

Needless to say, when the power came back on at almost 2 am, 4 out of 6 people in our house were awake to take notice.

I do believe we will all be embracing the monster today. So far, everyone is right on track with the monster mentality. And it's only 9 am.

Take Cover! Here come the Tomatoes!

2008-07-09T10:42:00.003-04:00

Every evening for the last week, we have had thunderstorms.

I love a good storm. I did not grow up in tornado country, and got to enjoy just listening to the thunder and watching lightening flash across the sky. I was (am) always impressed with the strength of a storm, and usually just sit and marvel at how much bigger God is than the storm He's created.

Until yesterday.

Yesterday a tornado was spotted about 8 miles north of us and was moving in our direction. In our area there are no basements. Our house has 1 room with no windows.

It is a half bath under the staircase.

Did I mention it is narrow?

And has a toilet and sink taking up space?

As we watched the report on TV showing the storm, we were able to see the storm coming. It was a doozie. A double-doozie, like the cookie from the Great American Cookie Company.

Except not so much. Those are filled with millions of calories of sugary goodness and send you straight to heaven.

Well then I guess you could consider this storm a double-doozie because I thought we were going to go straight to heaven. I was certain that a tornado was coming.

We took cover in the narrow (did I mention that?) 1/2 bath with sad pillows over our heads. Nothing says protection like a 2 for $10 pillow from Walmart.

D thought we had lost our minds. He is calm, cool, and collected in times of calamity. Which I would say is a good thing, considering he is a military man.

He sat by the door and when he thought the time was right, he opened the door.

Sarah, our (almost) 5 year old, started crying and said, "Daddy, close the door! I'm scared! The tomatoes are coming!"

To which we all got a good laugh, and God used it to lighten the mood.

We all climbed out of the bathroom, which looked a little like when people who eat sardines (not me) take them out of the can.

Or a clown car. You know when they just keep coming in a seemingly endless line from a place much too small to hold them all.

We ran to the door and checked to see how the storm was coming along.

Thankfully, no tomatoes today.

Is it Wednesday already?!

2008-07-09T09:53:00.004-04:00

Man time flies.

How is it that long, hot summer days, the ones where you are B-O-R-E-D out of your mind, where your kids are driving you to the asylum in a Speed Racer fashion, seem to have no actual time in them?

We had company over the weekend of the 4th, and we will continue to have company every weekend until August. I am thrilled because... have I mentioned, I'M LONELY?!

However, there is a boat load of things I want to get done before each of these weekends occurs. So the last visitors will get to see a more completed house than the first.

Why this matters, I do not know.

Possibly it is a good excuse to spend money I would otherwise put off spending, even though I want to spend it to do these things. Does that even make sense?!

Last week we got two bedrooms painted. Mad's is ORANGE. Think tangerine. University of Tennessee. Home Depot. Terminix. These are all the possibilities D and I came up with while painting her room until midnight on Wednesday.

Thankfully, I got to sleep in. Unfortunately for D, he had to get up at 5 am for work. Oh, the things men do for their women.

Unbelievably, her room looks PHENOMENAL!! I am SO glad I took a chance and trusted my 11 year old with her room color! I wanted her to be satisfied with the result, but I secretly wanted to love the room too, and I DO!!

Did I mention this room will be the room our guests use? I have forewarned them to bring sunglasses for sleeping.

On Thursday, I got started while D was at work. It was the least I could do, what with his sleep deprivation and all. And it's a good thing too. I worked for 3 hours before he got home, and we worked together ANOTHER 8 HOURS.

11 HOURS TOTAL.

PAINTING.

This time, we painted the little girl's room a dark rich pink and all the furniture white. I saw it in the Pottery Barn kids catalog when I ordered the quilt that is on their beds and it looked awesome. The wall color matched the darkest shade of pink in the quilt, and I copied PBkids design idea.

Needless to say, dark pink halfway around a room with streaks is not very alluring.

When D came home and saw it about a quarter of the way completed, he did not have much faith.

Oh he believed, alright. He believed he would be priming and repainting the room a different color.

Oh ye of little faith!

Let me tell you, at 11:30 pm when all the painting was done and the room was put back together, he walked in and was like "WOW!"

I concur. The room looks amazing.

You cannot go wrong copying Pottery Barn stuff, folks. I believe it is virtually impossible.

So now we have the paint to do Daniel's room. We told him as soon as our company from last weekend left, we would paint.

Needless to say, they left Saturday afternoon, which is approximately 4 days ago, and his walls are still white instead of the granite gray we are going to paint them.

And I MUST get it done before this weekend's company comes.

Why I must, I do not know.

Maybe doing it because company is coming is the only way it will actually get done!

Ginger: My Life Coach

2008-07-04T19:35:00.004-04:00

Our dog, Ginger, has a terrible fear of loud noises like thunder and firecrackers. She becomes nervous, pacing back and forth and finally crawling under our bed (which is pretty hysterical because she's too big to fit!).

I just realized I am just like Ginger.

I interviewed for a job about 3 weeks ago, and got a call back for a second interview. I went in this past Tuesday for my second interview and was told they would know something by next week.

I got a call yesterday, (yay! early!) but... I missed it. A voice mail was left saying a decision had been made and I needed to call to find out where I stood.

Here's the thing: I did not get the message until 6:30 pm, and business was closed for the ENTIRE 4th of July weekend.

So I called an alternate number and left a message, hoping against hope to get a call back before the next 72 hours.

Then I proceeded to become nervous, pacing back and forth and finally crawling under our bed (which is pretty hysterical because I'm too big to fit!).

Well, I did not really crawl under the bed, but I wanted to.

In fact, as more time passed, the more worried I became.

I finally got myself together and prayed for God to help me think His thoughts, to allow my thoughts to be conformed to those of Christ's.

Always faithful, God helped me to keep all those negative, worrisome thoughts at bay, even though I had to keep reminding myself to focus on Christ and was quoting scripture in my head (over and over and over!).

This morning, the call I had been waiting for came.

I got the job!! I am so thankful and know it was God that gave me this opportunity. What a celebration with my husband and kids, and a testament to the Lord's faithfulness!!

Did you know?

2008-07-03T08:56:00.005-04:00

I heard something recently from my 8 year old son that I never knew.

It was so...well, so enlightening.

"Ashlyn, did you know your toes are made out of sausage? 'Cause they are."

Well, now you know.

HE still amazes me

2008-07-01T08:44:00.004-04:00

I started this blog last week for several reasons.

1) I was (am) lonely. We just moved, and it takes me awhile to make friends. I still have my dear, precious, close friends and am SOOO thankful for free long distance on our phone, but they live in different states or countries.

No one to sit and have coffee with or sit by the pool and laugh with. So I laugh at myself as I write my entry. That sounds more pathetic than it actually is (I hope!).

2)I started reading Big Mama and Boo Mama's blogs, thanks to an old friend and blogger, Shelly. They made me laugh til I cried and share my faith.

I needed that desperately. I have a tendency to take myself and life way too seriously and forget to have fun, but I LOVE to have fun, and I know God loves it when I do too.

3) I was bored. Even with my "to do" list growing by the minute, doing stuff is not the same as connecting with people. And until we find a church we want to join, connecting with people is hard (see #1).

So I started blogging. It really did help to get mt thoughts out of my head and onto the computer screen. I spent all day Thursday thinking about what to write, how to not sound so sad and despondent but instead be positive.

Now don't get me wrong here. I'm not into fake or pretense. Most people that know me would agree, I'm about as real as it gets. I dislike shallowness and would rather remain silent than be forced into small talk. There is way too much to learn from one another, and unfortunately those things are usually not spoken of, whether from fear of judgment, rejection, embarrassment, etc. There's my serious side coming out in all its glory!!

But for the sake of my reader(s?), and to bring as much glory to God as possible, I would rather voice those things light-heartedly, when possible.

Plus, it just feels good to smile when God gives me a different way of thinking about something.

By Friday night, (I started blogging Friday morning) I felt God tugging at my heart, although I wasn't sure exactly what His WORD for me was yet.

All night I thought about it, wrestled with it, and still felt uneasy in spirit.

On Saturday morning, The Mama's (Big and Boo), along with some other blogs I read, were at a Deeper Still conference with Beth Moore, Kay Arthur and Priscilla. They all logged on to talk about God meeting them.

I wanted to be there desperately, to meet God with them.

Ok, meeting Beth Moore and Kay Arthur would have been really awesome too. But right now Lisa Whelchel (Blair from The Facts of Life), who I'm certain remembers me from a conference I attended (details later, but I'm CERTAIN we are BFFs!), will have to be enough celebrity-dom for me.

Where was I? I may not like shallow, meaningless conversation, but I can get off track and talk about 10 things along the way to meaningful.

Oh, yes. Meeting YHWH.

Saturday I just felt like, God I wish you would just SHOW me.

You see, every time we move, I feel so lost. My house isn't home. My friends aren't around. Nothing is comfortable.

In fact, almost everything is painful, as if my skin is raw and every circumstance is some form of rough cloth rubbing against it.

And being the woman of the house, you all know how it is. Until I find my groove, it's as if my kids can't find theirs either. And so the lostness seems overwhelming.

Hey, on LOST aren't there 6 survivors? There are 6 of us. Maybe this is some type of experiment.

No, wait. I'm not anywhere close to Kate on the looks scale, and you know if you were on the show you'd want to be Kate.

I'm just sayin'.

Back to topic.

God ALWAYS uses this time of loneliness to teach me. And I try to be teachable. I want to learn from HIM.

And it FINALLY dawned on me. I have been so busy, trying. Trying to reach out for friends. Busy working on my house so maybe I'd feel at home.

Instead of being. God just wants me to be still. Read HIS WORD. Pray, really pray, more.

So how AMAZED was (am) I to read the blogs of those who were at the Deeper Still conference and find that they were told that God takes us into the wilderness to teach us, and then they were challenged to be in The WORD more.

It's not the first time HE has shown Himself like that, but every time, I'm amazed HE would choose to do that for me.

Clothing Confession

2008-06-28T11:13:00.004-04:00

I had a job interview last week and got a call back for a second interview on Tuesday. I am thrilled but scared out of my mind.

Yes, I want this job. It would be THE PERFECT JOB for me, and I for it. So of course I want to make a FANTASTIC impression.

I wore a cute skirt and top combo I bought at Geoffrey Beene a few weeks ago to my first interview. I looked great and felt great.

At the same time, I bought this great black and white skirt, but couldn't decide on a shirt. I had my heart set on white, but just couldn't find THE ONE.

So on to my confession.

I was looking through my closet this morning for a shirt to pair with my new skirt and realized I have 0, (count that, ZERO) plain white or plain black tops in my closet.

How could this happen? Aren't those considered closet staples, like potatoes or macaroni and cheese are to the pantry?

I have failed the fashion industry standards. "What Not to Wear" would be so ashamed. You see my dilemma.

However, with my God given ability to turn every negative into a positive, I have decided to look at this as an opportunity.

To quote Phil 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."

Much to D.'s delight, and I'm certain my children will be SO on board, I must make the shopping trip of the century.

So interpeeps, when you see a red head flying through the stores with four screaming kids and one husband who looks like he may commit a mall massacre, just say hi.

No need to say more.

Before and After

2008-06-27T15:41:00.003-04:00

I just found this "encouragement" on BooMama's site. What in the world could possibly need fixin' or improved in my home?

Oh, I kid.

See my post from a few short hours ago where I put my LR on a website for the world to see.

And judge.

Out of 5 possible stars, I got 1.9.

Bad enough (or is it good enough?) to be on a show where they help the design challenged.

Needless to say, as the days went by and the ratings GOT WORSE , I took my LR off the chopping block. Which was kind of dumb because now I'll never be surprised by the makeover fairies.

Ok, so here's my list of things to accomplish by July 25:

1.Paint half bath.
2.Paint upstairs hallway AND hang pictures (does that count as 2?!).
3.Hang curtains in LR.
4.Add accessories to LR and dining room.

That COMPUTER INTERNET STUFF

2008-06-27T10:01:00.000-04:00

I love homes. I mean homes that feel like home. I try really hard to achieve that feeling in my own home. It usually takes me about 8 months to a year to really get settled in and know what works in a new house.

So considering we have only lived in this house a month, I think it is safe to say I have NOT achieved the feeling of home yet.

More like BORING.

So, for some inspiration, I went to a popular home site and posted a picture of my living room, hoping to get some feedback (aka help).

No one in our families has seen our home yet. So I had a great idea.

I would call my mama at work (it's a family owned business, which will come into play later) and told her my LR was online if she wanted to see it.

Here is about how the conversation went.

"Mama, go to www.blahblah..."

"Wait, let me get some paper."

Grin.

"Ok, I'm ready now. double u, double u, double u..."

"blahblahblah. Click on the icon. Go to the LR category. Mine is listed near the beginning because I just posted."

We got off the phone and about 30 minutes later I got a call from my mom.

"I can't find it."

Grin, sigh. "Ok, mama, I'll walk you through it. Are you on the home page for website blahblahblah?"

"Wait, I don't know nothin' about this computer internet stuff. Let me get Todd."

So I wait and hear "Todd, are you busy? Can you come over here and get me to look at this living room picture?"

This is where I thought it was good to know this is a family owned business and it is ok for them to walk over and help my mama out with this computer internet stuff.

So I ask Todd," Is she on the blahblahblah website?"

To which he responds, " Wait, let me just retype it in. Ok, there. Now what?"

I walk him through the entire process (which consists of about 4 clicks).

He hands the phone to my mama and she exclaims, "I FOUND IT!"

Grin.

And then, "How DID you get your living room on THE INTERNET?"

It reminded me of the time before reality TV, when you were a STAR if you made an appearance on the ever-so-hallowed TV screen.

So mama, thank you for making me feel like a star!!

I love you!!

If my head wasn't attached, I'd lose it too

2008-06-27T09:40:00.001-04:00

We are a military family. We move around. A lot.

I would like to think that having moved so many times, experience would make me a better mover.

This, however, is not the case.

Do you remember that song, "Where have all the cowboys gone?" by Paula Cole?

Where is my Jon Wayne?
Where is my prairie son?
Where is my happy ending?
Where have all the cowboys gone?
Where is my marlboro man?
Where is his shiny gun?
Where is my lonely ranger?
Where have all the cowboys gone?

I have some new lyrics that run through my head daily.

Where are all my pens?
Where is that vase I bought before the move?
Where is my address book?
Where are those shot records?
Where is my sanity?

I am a self proclaimed neat freak. I cannot stand clutter. I like organization because I do not want to spend the 15 minutes of free time I have daily looking for something that could be easily found if put in its proper place.

But when we move, nothing has a place anymore. At least not yet. And until I can locate my stuff to put it in its place, I am lost.

Everything is unpacked.

I'm just not sure where I put it.

Hot Dogs

2008-06-27T08:56:00.000-04:00

Does anyone else feel sorry for their dog when the water from the faucet will not come out cold no matter how long you let it run, just because it's 158 degrees outside?

Well, I do. Ginger is a golden retriever with long hair. She stays inside and enjoys the A/C but I just feel the need to give her COLD water.

I like ice cold water. LOVE it, actually. Especially in the summer.

So, after I put the warmish water in her dish from the tap, I put about 15 ice cubes in to make it all nice and cold and tasty.

I wonder if she notices.

Did Jesus go to camp?

2008-06-27T07:37:00.000-04:00

Last night my two oldest children came home from a week at camp. More like 5 days, really, but who's counting?

Mad, my tween-age daughter (God love 'em), apparently had quite a moving experience.

"Mom, Dad, our last night there was so awesome. We had the most awesome devotion EVER. Like, we had to write down what we wanted to work on in our lives for Jesus and share it with our cabin and pray about it and it was like, so awesome."

I think, great! I know the word "attitude" was on that paper. That is what she is so excited to tell us. So I take the plunge.

"So, what did you write?"

"Well, I just wrote about being a good example for my three younger siblings."

There it is! The answer I was hoping for!

" But seriously, mom, dad, these girls in my cabin were sharing about their sick relatives and problems at home and then one girl, well, she started to cry, and then we all started to cry, and then we just cried and cried and cried and seriously, it was just awesome."

My husband looked at me as if he wanted to cry. I have never seen a man more dumbfounded than when his oldest daughter becomes a tweenager.

I just patted his hand and shook my head ever so slightly to let him know not to say anything because it would definitely be the wrong thing.

He knows I'll explain the way an 11 year old girl thinks once she is out of ear-shot.

As for our son, he talked about swimming, staying up all night, and how he's losing his voice. Maybe I'll get a few more days of quiet after all.

I must confess, my husband and I are a little disappointed that our kids didn't come home with this burning desire to be missionaries or share their love for Jesus with all of our (brand new) neighbors.

But I have to remind myself that one of the reasons we shelled out nearly our entire life savings to send them to camp was to make friends.

We just moved to a different state around the time school let out. No school equals no friends. The church we are attending had a few openings for camp and we both thought, what a great way for them to make friends.

And to quote Mad, "We have friends now and it is so awesome."

Awesome.